Many of us use Twitter for its intended purpose: As a social networking site. It’s a great source of entertainment, a great place to network and quite frankly just a great place to kill time. On most days, Twitter is fun and conversations are light. But there are other days when it seems like there are people who use Twitter just to debate with people. (That awkward moment when the antisocial use social networking sites.) There are a few recurring topics that I’ve seen ruffle many a feather that I choose to stay as far away from as I possibly can.
1.) Grits – I never realized how passionate people were about their grits until Twitter. Growing up in Orange County, I missed the grits exposure all together with. (I’m #TeamCreamOfWheat all day!) But if you mention that you prefer your grits with sugar in them, expect to find a bunch of folks in your mentions telling you that the proper way to eat grits is with salt & pepper in them which will then be countered by the #TeamCheeseGrits folks chiming in. I’ve seen the grits discussion go on for over an hour on numerous occasions.
2.) Matching Bras & Panties- I’ve been meaning to write this post for a few months and this subject was included on my original list. When this topic came up on Twitter again today, I decided it was time. According to Twitter, if you’re a man who enjoys seeing your woman in matching sets, you’re gay/not a real man/probably want to wear her panties. Why does a man have to be gay because he likes to see his woman in a matching set? Men are visual. He probably grew up sneaking into the den to watch Cinemax late at night (with the volume down, of course) and not narry one of those women were wearing a red bra with blue drawls. EVER. A large part of what people find attractive comes from things they were exposed to early on. There are countless reasons why certain things turn people on. Just because someone likes something different than what YOU like doesn’t mean they should be chastised for it. Just because he doesn’t want to see a chick in period panties all the damn time doesn’t make him a bottom. As a woman, why would you care what some man that you’re not with prefers? And as a man, why do you care about what some OTHER man is into? He’s gay because he likes a matching set and you’re hetero because you’re focused on what turns him on? Roger that.
3.) Misconceptions About California From People Who Have Never Been To California- I see this often. Clearly many people’s exposure to California is from watching movies/the news/listening to what their broke cousin that visited L.A. once back in ’07 told them. The state of California is almost 800 miles long. If you make generalizations about a 160,000 square mile circumference, you’re just an idiot. I’ve been in California for 35 years and there are still parts that I’ve never been to. You can go ATV’ing in the desert, snowboarding in the mountains & surfing at the beach all in one day, and that’s just in Southern California. There are VAST differences in the way people from different parts of the state live. Folks in parts of Central California are accustomed to shoveling snow in the winter. I’ve never shoveled a damn thing in my entire life. People who have never been to California that like to talk shit about California residents are often referring to a small percentage of folks in Los Angeles. (Everyone in L.A. according to these people who have never been off their front stoop are phony, materialistic, & superficial. While I have come across a few people like that, 100% of the people that I associate with in L.A. aren’t like that. I say 100% b/c I choose to associate with people who have substance.) They also think that San Francisco is a hop, skip & a jump from L.A. Wrong again! It’s a 6 hour drive without traffic and there’s ALWAYS traffic. So the next time you hear someone start a sentence with “People in California…” you have my permission to slap them across the face with a sock full of nickels.
4.) What You Should and Shouldn’t Do In Relationships- Twitter has an opinion on EVERYTHING. What you SHOULD call your mate (man vs boyfriend, woman vs girlfriend, boo, lady, etc.) what you SHOULD do for your mate domestically, sexually, etc. What type of underwear you SHOULD wear for them…kidding. (Sorta.) I’ve also noticed that the overly opinionated folks are usually single. I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in hearing what a single person suggests I do to keep my man happy. Clearly whatever they’ve been doing hasn’t worked for them.
5.) Holidays – I always thought holidays were a joyous time…until Twitter. Christmas makes folks angry. Valentines Day makes folks angry. Columbus Day makes folks angry. Thanksgiving makes folks angry. Mothers/Fathers Day makes folks REAL angry. Everything makes folks angry! “Holidays are commercial, man made events created for the sole purpose of boosting the economy.” “Jesus wasn’t even born in December!” “Columbus was a rapist!” “You shouldn’t wait til February 14th to tell someone you care about them. You should tell them every day!” “If you hate Christmas so much, how come you took the day off?” Good Lord! Mothers Day & Fathers Day have to be 2 of the worst holidays on Twitter. You have the folks who are dealing with parental issues & childhood pain. Then you have the folks who are telling those folks that they should handle their issues in therapy. THEN you have the folks telling THOSE folks to let the OTHER folks vent. THEN you have the folks telling the fathers that they should log off & go toss a football with their sons! Ay dios mio! And I won’t even get started on the “side chick” shade that goes on for EVERY SINGLE HOLIDAY. Let’s see how long #BlackWomenAppreciationDay lasts today before folks start acting ignant.
6.) Side Chicks- Are there really this many damn women out there engaging in transgressions with other women’s men? Who are these mythical creatures? I see side chicks getting dragged on Twitter often. But in order to be a side chick, doesn’t a cheating man have to be in the equation? Why are we letting the cheaters get off so easily & blaming the women for everything? I side step the hell out of the side chick topic. These anonymous women get NO respect and the lynch mob mentality starts and folks start tweeting with such venom about a nameless, faceless individual that I usually end up logging off. How can you get so angry about a person that doesn’t even exist? LMAO! Go plant a garden or take up needlepoint. Cuz if you’re that upset about a woman that may try to steal the man that you don’t even have, I see lots of knitting (and cats) in your future.
7.) Thick Chicks vs Thin Chicks – Some folks feel that big girls aren’t worthy of love. Some folks feel that skinny chicks need to eat something. This battle of thick vs thin is SO tired. I’ve seen men tweet that they’d NEVER date/have sex with/open a door for a plus size woman. Then a big girl will see this tweet and say something to the dude. He’ll reply with something rude. They’ll go back & forth. Some Twitpics of Rasputia or Precious will get thrown into the mix. (Knowing damn well all his mama’s pants have the thighs rubbed out of them.) She’ll block him. I’ve seen it 100 times. Then the men that like thick women will talk about what they like about thick women. The thick women will RT those tweets & sprinkle a few amen’s throughout their TL. *yawn*
8.) Weave vs Natural- The thought of expounding on this topic is making me want to stab myself in the ear with a rusty nail.
9.) iPhone/Apple Products vs Any Other Phone/Products - iRefuse to touch this one.
10.) Beyonce’- Because of Twitter, I know WAY more than I ever wanted to know about Beyonce’ Giselle Knowles-Carter. (See what I mean?!) I also now know the true meaning of a “stan”. And I follow several of them. I also like keeping my wig in tact so I stay as far away as I possibly can from Beyonce’ discussions because I’ve seen many a wig get snatched and incinerated over Beyonce’. Beyonce’ is the greatest! Please don’t hurt me.
11.) Celebrity Deaths - Twitter on the day of the death of a major celebrity and the days following is a dangerous place. You’ve got the folks who are tweeting sympathetically. You’ve got the insensitive assholes who are trying to use this as an opportunity to get their corny jokes RT’ed. Then there’s the element of folks who have never heard of the celeb or who question the sincerity of those mourning that celebs death. Soon the comparisons start. "Lawd, you done took MJ and Tyrese is still alive!" "Why are you mourning Amy when 8 puppies just died in a pet store fire?" "Y’all care more about Elizabeth Taylor than you do about some of your blood relatives." "I aint never seen y’all tweet this much about Teena Marie til now." SO? Just cuz I don’t tweet about Teena every day doesn’t mean I don’t have her entire music catalogue. And maybe I hate puppies. Maybe some of my relatives are assholes. Stop analyzing my mourning bro! When a celeb dies, I usually end up unfollowing a whole bunch of folks before logging off. It’s often easy to tell who has ever had the misfortune of losing a loved one & who hasn’t. Death really brings something very ugly out of a lot of people and it’s disgusting.
12.) Sports & Politics- “My grandmama taught me not to talk about 3 things in public: relationships, politics and religion. Looking at my timeline, I thank her.” -@TheXDExperience
Granny be knowing! I’m adding sports to that too for this reason: I can’t count how many times I’ve seen women tweeting about a game that was on and others tweeting that those women are into sports solely for the attention of men. The same applies to politics. I’ve seen people tweet that others were just tweeting about politics for attention. Outside of that, political views/differences are the stuff wars are made of. I’ll pass on those heated debates, thank you very much! Same applies to favorite sports teams. Folks are ready to buy plane tickets & fight someone over their team. It’s never that serious. I’ll just be over here Twitpicing some nasty plates of food & other nonsense if you need me…
What you block me for?! *Doughboy voice*
This morning I stumbled across a great essay written by Toure’. After reading it, I decided to RT it and in doing so got a “Forbidden” message. Hmmmm. Must be this damn 3G network. *pulls out Mac & attempts to RT via web* WTF?! I’ve been blocked?! I didn’t do nooooothing! I don’t even know why people dislike Toure & yet he preemptively blocked me! I blame you coonbiscuits! My name probably got lumped into a shady tweet once and he did a clean sweep of all of those @’s and I ended up collateral damage. All I know about Toure (according to Negro Twitter) is that he has an imaginary cousin & he doesn’t know how to comb his kids hair. Thass it! I’ve never said a bad word about that man. It’s not like I said he was projecting his aint shit mama issues on the rest of the world (Tyrese) or that he was a lawn chair’s worst nightmare (Rozay) or that he shouldn’t be fed/given water after midnight or made some guarding a building/gargoyle reference (Sandra Rose) and yet I was preemptively blocked. *sigh* Dahwell. *cues Celine Dion “My Heart Will Go On”*
How To Disable Retweets
You know that person that you follow that constantly retweets Tyrese or Rev Run or iRespectFemales or someone that you don’t follow but you feel like you do follow them because you see their tweets retweeted all day errday? And you know that you can’t unfollow this person without unleashing WWIII. You can’t mute them because they tweet you often and an emo DM is sure to follow saying "Hey…are you ignoring me?" Yeah, that guy.
Well thanks to this little feature, you no longer have to roll your eyes 20 times a day. (But then again, you are on Twitter so you’ll probably roll your eyes anyway. But I digress.) Keep in mind, this feature only works for tweets that were RT’ed by selecting the “retweet” feature found on any Twitter app. If the person copies & pastes the original tweet, there’s no way to disable that. (This is usually done if they’re retweeting someone whose tweets are private or if they’re adding their own comments, like an LOL. If this is the case, you may just want to mute the person who is being retweeted.)
1.) From Twitter web, go onto the offender’s profile. You’ll see a green bar that says “Following.” To the right of that bar you’ll see a green circle with arrows in it.
2.) Hover over that circle. You will see a message that says "Retweets from this user will appear in your timeline." Click that circle. It will change from green to grey.
3.) You will now see a message that says "Retweets from this user will not appear in your timeline."
3.) Hit your Dougie.