This Belle Heffa
I returned from a late lunch around 3:45pm and decided to hop on Twitter to see what was poppin on the TL. First thing I see is people tweeting about Michael Ealy. I’ve never cared for Michael Ealy. He just doesn’t do it for me. But since it appeared to be a slow news day, I decided to do a little Twitter search to see what all the fuss was about. The first thing I see is a tweet from someone that included 2 side-by-side pictures of Michael and a woman. The caption reads: "#TeamSingle lost a gem today. Congratulations to Michael Ealy & his wife." The photos were of Michael and a woman at 2 different events. In picture one, they’re giving us the classic prom pose. She has short hair in that pic. In picture two, he has on a suit and she has
a dead poodle on her head big curly hair. So I retweeted it. I found it refreshing that he married a thick, matronly girl with nappy hair.
Then I kept scrolling and I see ANOTHER post about Michael’s nuptials. This one had a pic of him with a striking Sri Lankan looking woman. (I don’t know her origin but her name had a bunch of letters in it that you’d be pissed if you got while playing Scrabble. There’s like a Q, Z, K, G, W and no good vowels.) Anyway, it was NOT the woman from the other pics. So now I’m confused. I tweeted "That’s not the same woman. ROFL" and jokingly replied to the woman who posted the initial “#TeamSingle” tweet (who I now know is some lady named @abelleinbk…)
Me: “Is that his mama?!”
(Then @iMDRW tweeted “so, according to twitter, he’s married to 3 women. #ThisMakesSense.”)
Me: “Like, yeah?! That’s not his wife.”
@abelleinbk: “uh…that would be the person you’re following. seriously? you can’t be..”
Me: “Person I’m following?”
(Now I’m SUPER confused. I’m not following anyone. I’m sitting down.)
@abelleinbk: “I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt. um…that would be me. jesus.”
Me: “OHHHHHH! You posted pics of yourself instead of pics of his wife. And you think I follow you. Double womp with cheese.”
@abelleinbk: you’ve got to be plain stupid. i’m sorry. that’s just dense.”
(At this point I attempted to respond to her and discovered that she’d blocked me. Calling people names & blocking them = not about that life.)
Me: “Oh, so I’M stupid b/c YOU posted pics of yourself WITH Michael Ealy attached to a tweet about him getting married? Ok ma’am.”
Me: “It was an honest mistake. Learn how to communicate with people without name calling. Namaste.”
After this exchange, she goes on to delete the tweets (but I’d already saved them) and after blocking me, she proceeds to subtweet me calling me “thirsty” when I’ve never even SEEN or HEARD of her before an hour ago. How is that thirst?! It was an HONEST mistake. You tweet a picture of a man & a woman and congratulate him on getting married. I assumed that was his wife. So did many other people. I never would’ve guessed it was a picstitch of him and a groupie. THAT, my friends is the definition of thirst.
Honestly, there are FAR too many people out here calling themselves “life coaches” & relationship “experts” and whatever other titles they choose to bestow upon themselves and then they think they’re the cat’s fucking pajamas AND the bee’s knees just because they have a few followers on Twitter and wrote a book. Or maybe they write a column for [insert the name of 1 of 3 publications here, no shade] so EVERYBODY is supposed to know them. Boo-boo: Tyrese & Snooki have New York Times best sellers out so the fact that you have ONE raggedy book out that is ranked #330,267 on Amazon (that has ONE review on it which SHE actually wrote by the way) means NOTHING. I still don’t know who this woman is and refuse to Google her because I won’t give her little Google alerts the satisfaction but she’s a raggedy, tweet deleting bootch and I hope she gets Brooklyn bedbugs in her nappy ass weave.
Love & light,
The Queen of England (since we’re giving ourselves titles)
Read the ONE review of her book that didn’t have anything negative to say, that was written by HER: http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A15LDALNUHZRMX/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview